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Disappointingly unspectacular as the truth may be, the internet's magnetic effect on our brains is in no way derived from the claimed technical genius of California's IT professionals. In fact, screens owe their irresistible power over our minds to the rational, systematic use of discoveries made regarding animal and human behavioural conditioning since the mid-19th century. This intelligent use of the classics has enabled social engineering to divert our attention quite radically away from the functions it was initially programmed for, namely spotting imminent dangers to protect the group or tribe, concentrating uninterruptedly on an object so that we can use our skills to make it useful, communicating with others by sensing multiple different body languages, and, above all else, examining the mysteries of the Great Beyond that lies outside earthly life's brief candle. Whether we like it or not, the global internet prospers from the reductio ad bestiam of the human sphere.